Episode 5: What NOT To Do When Networking
Notes
What Not To Do When Networking
Have you ever gone networking and thought, “Well that was a waste of time!” That should never happen. If you’ve used the previous tips from How To Network Like a Pro, you know what you should be doing. Here are things that you might be doing that you shouldn’t be doing.
In this episode, Lane and Rob talk about Networking experiences and the things people do wrong.
- Being awkward
- Give everyone a business card (card spamming/flyby networking)
- Don’t be the one always talking – Your voice shouldn’t be sore, weak, or tired at the end of your networking.
Intermediate/Advanced:
- Talk to the wrong person (non decision maker, another sales person, …) – How do you identify who to speak with BEFORE you go to the event?
- Don’t be intimidated – Everyone puts on their pants the same way you do. Don’t be intimidated by anyone who is there to network.
- Just come for drinks – Drinks are nice, but they don’t bring you business.
- Ask stupid questions – Be prepared with thought provoking questions that make them see you differently.
- Talk about yourself (bragging) – They’re not there to buy…so please don’t sell.
- Forget to make it about them – You MUST ask about them.
- Don’t corner them – Don’t be the one who uses up someones time for too long.
- Forget to Let them network – And this is a way out of an awkward or chatty conversation.
Remember to leave us a question at (608) 708-SLOW (7569). Thanks for listening!
Related Episodes:
Episode 1: How To Create a 30-Second Sales Pitch
How To Waste Your Time At A Networking Event
NOTE: Some links may be affiliate links, which means we get paid a commission when you purchase, but it the cost remains the same for you.
Music: "Clydesdale Funk" by Cast of Characters, written by: Dustin Ransom.
The Episode
Rob 0:04
Welcome back to the slowpitch podcast. This episode, we are going to talk about networking skills, but not the networking skills you should do. These are the networking skills you should never do. Oh,
Lane 0:15
I’m in trouble.
Rob 0:16
Oh, yes, I know. So lane. Have you ever been to a networking event where you were finished at the end of the evening or the end of the networking time? And you went, boy, that was horrible. Yeah,
Lane 0:25
I mean, every networking event I’ve been to,
Rob 0:29
well, maybe maybe it is. But why do you? Why do you think it was that way? What caused you to feel that way? At the end? Oh, man,
Lane 0:36
I don’t know I first of all, I always try to find someone I know. Yep. So I can latch on a little bit to try to at least you start to go Okay, now I’m meeting this person, and you just try to kind of follow along for the night. I’m that introvert, it’s really hard for me just to walk up to a random stranger and go, Hey, how are you today?
Rob 0:53
Yeah, and you probably just try to blend into the walls like I do sometimes where you’re like, let me just stand here and see if I can disappear.
Lane 0:59
Yeah, that never works for me, though. Because, because then you’re standing in a corner all by yourself. And that’s not good, either.
Rob 1:06
Yeah, that’s awkward. Listen, I get it. And then these are the things that are difficult with networking. And it’s, and nobody knows exactly what to be doing and what they should do, shouldn’t do. And I think the good people that are out there, they’re good networkers out there. I think we talked about that, in another episode, where good networking skills, it takes a little bit of a skill to it, in a sense, right? There’s some ways of making somebody you’re talking to feel comfortable, you’re talking about the other person, you’re getting them to talk a little bit open up, whereas these networking skills here that we’re going to talk about today are things you should never do. So let me maybe run through a couple things and see what you think. And maybe these are things you have or haven’t done, or experienced right here on the other end of the
Lane 1:41
day. Yes, yes, absolutely.
Rob 1:43
So one of the items that I wrote down is if I put in a couple different layers, I put a basics, kind of these are the basics of what to do when you’re networking like not to do and then there’s some intermediate kind of stuff where you’ve been around and you think you’re doing the right thing, but maybe you’re not. And so one of the basic things I wrote down was just being very awkward, like standing in the corner by yourself, or you’re talking about me when we get to have you know, no, I would never talk to you about you that way. No, not to your face. So. So the being awkward part is the weird part where somebody is literally I’ve had conversations with people that are just asking weird questions, or they’re, they’re standing there not saying anything, or you ask him a question, and they answer one word answers. And you’re like, How am I supposed to do anything with that? Yeah, but the but the weird part is when they start doing that, you’re like, What am I supposed to do, and you can’t carry that conversation very long. And that’s the awkward piece. And the other one that I always think of when I think of awkward, and also something not to do during networking is just handing everybody your business card. I kind of like to think of them as like, they’re the in and out guys, you know, they’re the ones that are the people that just walk in, start handing out a card, maybe ask you a question, and then give you a card walk away. And that’s also awkward, but it’s also rude, I think, don’t you? I
Lane 2:56
mean, no, yes. You You started saying that, that prompted me to kind of think about that for a moment that well, aren’t you supposed to be handing out your business cards? Yeah, I know, you qualify that as, Hey, how you doing? Here’s my card, I gotta go. I totally get that. That’s rude. But isn’t the whole point of everything to hand out those cards?
Rob 3:14
Yeah, it really is one of the points you’re supposed to do. However, if you want to stand out from everybody else, one of the things I always like to recommend is don’t hand out any cards unless somebody asks you for it. So I’ve had several conversations, where I get into a deeper conversation with somebody and I don’t even give them a card, I might ask them for theirs because I want their information. Because I think it might be an interesting conversation in the future. But I won’t offer mine. And so when I asked him, Hey, do you have a card? I’d love to be able to talk more about this. And and they go Yeah, sure. And then you hand your card. And then the next thing you know, I Alright, cool. Well, I know you’re here to network. And, and, you know, I don’t want to take up all your time. And and so I’ll let you let you move on to the next person. He goes, Well, do you have a card? And I’m like, yo, yeah, you you want a car? Sure I can give you a card. But unless they want it, why would I even Why would I assume that they want my card? Because I totally get that it. Actually business cards can get expensive. Well, that too. And I think the other thing is, is I don’t want to find my business card sitting on the parking lot when I leave. Like Have you ever had that? I have you pretend that were you walking along and you’re going to your car and you’re like, I just met this person and I see their car laying on the ground. And I knew I didn’t want their car either. So it just reinforces what I thought and and somebody else did exactly what I was thinking. So that’s the reason why I don’t like to do that. If I have somebody asking me for the card, then they really do want it. If they don’t ask they don’t want it. That’s fine.
Lane 4:33
No, I totally understand that. Yeah, that makes sense. I’ve had plenty of instances where someone’s just handing it to you and you’re like, you’re trying to be polite and you’re okay, but if they’re lucky that card makes it home with me tonight. That night. Yeah, and
Rob 4:46
no, this is contrary to what I’m just doing in with us talking here. But this is the weird one too, that sometimes comes up and that is don’t be the only one talking all the time. Now. I seem to be doing that more than you at this point. But
Lane 4:59
that’s always honking man.
Rob 5:02
But that’s okay. That’s the way things work sometimes, but But have you ever been in a in a, in a networking event where the person you’re talking to just will not stop talking about themselves about what they sell about what they do?
Lane 5:16
Yeah, I’ve actually I know a guy who I’ve worked with for a lot of years off and on really nice guy think he’s great, but he, he just can’t stop talking. And you know, you get into any type of conversation period, you go to any event, you see him, you know, you’re standing there for 15 minutes, and he’s just talking,
Rob 5:35
you know, the best part is those types of individuals are the kind of people that when you go to the networking event that people avoid, because they’ve seen the person before they know that that’s a good 15 minutes of worthless conversation only about that other than them themselves, not about anything, learning anything about me, which is what everybody wants to talk about. So I’m going to avoid this person every time. And I think anybody would avoid that kind of a person most of the time, right?
Lane 5:59
Yeah, no, it’s true. I, you know, I see him and I go, No, but you know, you got to do the dude, you got to Hey, man, what’s going on? How you doing? Sure. Tell me about your business for the next 20 minutes.
Rob 6:16
Just so I’m clear, I want to make sure that you’re not talking about me or you. I just
Lane 6:22
I’d rather not name names.
Rob 6:24
Oh, well, tastic. Here, I thought I was helping, but I guess not. Some of the other items that we wanted to kind of go through to make sure that everybody’s on the same page. And I know that you had some questions on too. But what about talking like this is some of the more advanced stuff or more of the intermediate stuff, which is what about talking to the wrong person, I don’t know how many times I’ve gone to a networking event, and I’m talking to somebody, and the person that I’m speaking to is another salesperson, when the person that’s going to make the decision about whether or not even makes sense to go into a sales conversation for my product is not the salesperson.
Lane 7:00
How do you really figure that out? Because there’s going to be times where you’re talking to someone who’s really is your peer, where they are both trying to sell their service, but they’re also going to be the decision maker for what you’re selling?
Rob 7:11
That is a good question. And I think what you’re asking them to is, you’re talking to a salesperson who could use your services, but really isn’t going to be the final decision maker, they might have some influence, or they might have some impact on the buying decision. But the person you really need to talk to is the final decision maker, which is not the person you’re speaking to, is that correct?
Lane 7:30
Well, I guess I would split it into two possible scenarios. One, I’m talking to someone like myself, who is both trying to sell and is the decision maker versus a salesperson who may not be the decision maker, but can refer you to the decision maker.
Rob 7:46
So the first situation is you’re talking to another salesperson who can make decisions. Correct? Okay. So if you’re talking to a salesperson who can make decisions on the sale, they kind of technically are the decision maker, and you’re in a networking situation. And if I remember correctly, we spoke about on another episode, when you go to networking, you’re not there to buy, right, right? So you’re not there to sell either you’re there to get to know build a relationship and see if you can get another conversation. So in that case, yeah. So in that case, you might take that salesperson who can make some decisions on the final decision of the purchase, you might make some conversation with them that says something along the lines of I don’t know if it makes sense. If we talk some more about this at another time. No, this is not the place to go through all the details and figure out what what makes sense. But after you’ve already had some question and answer back and forth, you start to realize they could use your service and want to talk more than that’s the conversation you say you just bring it to another meeting. But on the flip side, if you’re in a situation where you’re talking to a salesperson who may not have any final decision making abilities, but they can introduce and they can impact somehow the final decision maker or he or introduce you to the final decision maker, then your conversation can become one of those where you’re saying something along the lines of Hey, listen, I know you’re not probably the one that’s going to want to make all the decisions of this anyway. But I know that there are some pieces in here that are really important to you. And I want to make sure that you’re involved in it, you might ask them the question, Who else should be involved in this conversation, and then you start to transition them into another meeting setup setup. And they may be the one that sets it up for you. So I had a conversation one time one with somebody who does some sort of a landscaping thing. He was a salesperson, but he wasn’t the final decision maker. And so in that conversation, he said, We need x, which is what we sell. And he’s like, but but I can’t do I don’t make the final decision here. He told me flat out because he knew he was not the decision maker. And he just volunteered that information. So I knew that I wasn’t dealing with the right person in that scenario. I said, Well, Who should we talk to? I made it about he and I coming together to figure out who we should talk to rather than me trying to force my way in because if he didn’t feel like it was appropriate for me to be talking to that final decision maker. I don’t want him to feel like I’m going to go around them either. And I want him to build trust and give me the information that he needs to get his job done or get whatever he wants out of the deal too. So it’s going to be one of those. I’m on your side. I’m here to help. Learn to partner basically.
Lane 10:01
Yeah, that’s exactly right. You’re finding that partner within the organization that can help get you to the right people to help you make that sale?
Rob 10:09
Yes. And that’s kind of the way you end up dealing with that. And so and then the other on the flip side of that, too, let’s say you’re standing there, and you are talking to a decision maker, are you going to try to sell them? They’re? No, you’re not. Because your job is not to sell at a networking event, your job is for them to know who you are recognize, you get their card, and then you reach out later on. So hey, it was really nice meeting you at the networking events, whatever it is called. And I, you know, I’d love to answer any more questions you had, because you seem to have a few questions that were interesting, or it sounded like you might be wanting to learn a little bit more. And I have no idea if we’ll even get any further than a few more questions. But would you be open to have a quick phone call? And, you know, eight, nine times out of 10? Somebody will say, Yeah, I do have a few more questions. And then there’s a few times they go, No, I was just asking a couple questions, because I was curious. And that’s it. And fine, you know, at least you know, where you stand and know what’s going on.
Lane 10:55
So they’re not there just for the free drinks.
Rob 10:57
Well, that brings me to the next one. The next one is, is you don’t want to just go networking just for the drinks,
Lane 11:03
you’re taking the fun out of it, Rob ,
Rob 11:05
I know, I know. It is fun. But it is one of those things that people do and they start to drink a little too much. And they you know, that’s just not a good situation. So your goal is really to have a nice drink, maybe talk about the drink, if you want to do but but in the end, it’s really not about the drinks, the drinks are extra and the drinks are and if there’s actually there’s quite a few people that I know that will go and do not drink period. They know that they’re for business,
Lane 11:27
I get that. I guess for me, it helps to at least have that little tiny bit of the liquid courage, but you definitely don’t want to be just hammered.
Rob 11:36
Yeah, no, I yeah. And it’s funny because there’s somebody that I know that says it when you go networking, a lot of people go to the two B’s right, the bathroom or the bar, because it’s one of the two that they go to, and they don’t go networking like they’re supposed to, they go to the bar, and they hang out there. They get their drinks, and they just stand there.
Lane 11:52
They don’t hang out in the bathroom, though.
Rob 11:54
Yeah, well, listen, that’s after the bar a few times. And you know, what do you do, but they but they do they spend too much time in either one of them, because you’re avoiding what needs to be happening that at that time, which is networking. So the other thing is, is that I would recommend as you you don’t want to be intimidated when you go networking. And here’s what I mean by that I have met some very interesting and very influential people while networking. When you do that, you feel like holy cow, this person is in charge of a billion dollar company. And here I am standing there with this person. How is this even possible? How am I talking to them? When in reality, they were not always the person that was running that billion dollar company or million? Or whatever it is? They’re just like you they? That’s a great point. Yeah, yeah. And they work their way up. If they’re intimidating because of their personality. That’s a different situation. But they, they’re there because they want to meet people. And it’s as simple as that if it’s for PR reasons, if it’s for other reasons, whatever it is, but they’re there for a reason. ask them the question. Hey, why are you here? I’m just curious. And they’re like, well, it’s networking. Okay. But yeah, okay. A lot of people networking to get business, you’re obviously not a salesperson. Why are you here? Who are you looking for? And what’s interesting is when you ask them who you’re looking for, sometimes they go well, you know, there’s some people that I there’s somebody from the city or from the county or somebody that I’m wanting to talk to, oh, well, guess what, I know that person. Yeah, introduce you. And all of a sudden, you become an influencer, in that networking situation, which is part of the program, right? That’s what you’re trying to become is an influencer within the networking circle, but not to the point of this person knows everybody, but doesn’t get a lot done. It’s one of those they actually make things happen. And they connect people. So
Lane 13:28
I’ll be in touch really interesting. Good. No, that’s, that’s interesting, I never really kind of put that together that, you know, by by going to these networking events, you can kind of become known. And by being able to introduce other people that kind of gives you a lot of that influence. And I don’t know the right word, but I don’t want to say power. It’s just it’s just kind of you become known, I suppose. And in someone’s someone’s thinking about something, oh, yeah, I know, this guy that can be really powerful and helpful,
Rob 13:54
probably more important and more impactful is after you do it a few times, the people that you introduce them to, and the other person that you’ve met, that you introduced, they know you as a connector, and they know you as somebody that values connecting people. And there’s value in that too. So they look at you differently all the way around, the person being connected. So if that person that’s high ranking in a company wanted to meet somebody from the county or whatever, and you happen to know that person, and they’ll remember you for that, that’s huge, right? But the county person might say, that was a really good introduction, because, you know, I like to meet the people that have their businesses in my backyard, and there’s some value all the way around. And they will sometimes when you are in a networking event, they will ask you questions that most people don’t get asked because they’re they know that you have the connections, a lot of times that most of the people that are there don’t have so the more you can connect people, the more people think they think, you know, even if you don’t know very many people, and that’s why I always recommend when you’re just getting out networking, get another person putting on the event. We talked about that one time before. Yes. Yep. And then once you get to know them, let them help you get introduced to other people. And then as you network asking about what are these people want to get for who to be introduced to you start introducing in the other people You start to know in those networking circles, and the next thing you know, you know, everybody in the room, and it doesn’t take long, because the same people are the same networking events until you get outside of certain networking situations, meaning you’re always at a chamber one, or you’re always at a networking group one that’s outside of that, you’re going to see the same people. So you have to use the same skills in each of those different locations, and you start to know a whole bunch more people. So I think that’s critical. And I think when the other things you don’t want to do when you’re out there doing networking is asking really stupid questions. I’ve seen people ask some questions that I just don’t understand. Give me an example. Well, this may not sound like a stupid question. But here’s a good example. You ask somebody a question who you know who they are, you know, the industry that they’re in and you ask them about their industry or about their company that you should be able to find that information online? To me, that’s a little bit of a stupid question, let’s say to the president of a company, and they’ve been there for five years, all that information is online, everything is on their bio on their website, right? So if you start asking questions about well, how long have you been there? Usually the About Us section has information about it. So I think we talked about it another episode too, was go there prepared to know who you’re gonna try to network with and who to talk to do your research before you get there. So you’re not asking those stupid questions that everybody else is asking.
Lane 16:11
Right? So that’s more specific to the people you know, you want to be introduced to or meet, but it seems like that’s a perfectly valid question for just the average person you run into,
Rob 16:20
not up here networking the right way. So if you’re there to network, okay, you should be doing it the right way.
Lane 16:24
Okay. Interesting. Okay. So this is this kind of brings, it’s kind of a weird dichotomy to me that, alright, you’re there to meet people. I know, we’ve talked about in the past, you should always go knowing there’s someone one or two people you want to meet. But now it sounds like you’re you’re saying just the random people, if you run into You’re wasting your time with them?
Rob 16:44
No, not necessarily the random people you run into. What I’m saying is, is that when you ask questions of people that you don’t know, that are gonna be there, or you don’t realize, sometimes people just show up, they don’t register, they show up at the door, that’s fine, that’s valid, you’re going to ask those questions, because you don’t you’ve not seen their name on there. And they may be less of an impact on your brain when you get there, right? You don’t know who they are. But sometimes when you see somebody that you don’t know, you might ask the person running the event, who is that person? What do they do find the information out before you meet that person? Because otherwise, you’re going to sound like everybody else. But if you do happen to run into somebody, and you do happen to have to talk to that person, ask thought provoking questions, so they think differently of you don’t don’t ask stupid questions like what am I? What? What are you doing after this? Like, who cares? Nobody cares what you do after this, you know,
Lane 17:27
going to get a beer man.
Rob 17:29
Yeah, well, how am I gonna go? Okay, well, that’s nice, but I don’t care what doesn’t impact with anything, ask powerful questions, which are going to make them go Hmm, I never been asked that question before at a networking event. That’s, that’s what I mean by that. So like, what’s your favorite dinosaur?
Well, that’s one you’ve probably never been asked, but probably not appropriate. Unless you’re in the archaeology world. Maybe that might be makes sense. But so the other topic I think that’s important to talk about a little bit as is how much do you brag about yourself? And to me bragging about yourself is is weird. Perhaps a networking event? Yeah. Especially an older person, right? All of a sudden, somebody starts saying, Well, I do this and I do that. I’ve been doing this for this many years. Okay. How much does that make? You want to talk to them? Yeah, I
Lane 18:09
honestly I don’t care.
Rob 18:11
Yeah, I had a guy one time who was selling ionized water. Have you heard of this ionized water?
Lane 18:18
No,
Rob 18:18
I don’t know, either. And so tell me more Rob . Tell me Yeah. No, he was horrible to listen to. He kept telling me things that I was like, I don’t know anything about that. Why would I even care? All he did is Tell me why I should buy this. And I’m like, again, I’m not there to buy. It’s nice to meet you sir. But I’m not interested in your product. And then he sat down next to me at a table where I had to sit down with after the notary I was like, Oh my goodness, I don’t want to I don’t want to learn about water and then I had listened to him had listened to him do his same pitch again and everybody table you could tell he ran over his time. And everybody was like oh, okay, and looking at their watch bring up their phones horrible horrible.
Lane 18:55
He was really there to sell not to build those relationships. Yeah, and, and whatnot.
Rob 19:00
Yeah, and those are the type of people I just like to build is grabbed by the cargo cleaner. Let me help you with something don’t do that. stop selling your product get to know people. That’s all you get. That’s your job here is to get to know people, nothing else. And don’t which is the next thing is don’t corner people. I think we talked about it before. If you end up in a corner with somebody and they’re just like, won’t let you leave and keep talking to you. Have we talked about the way to get out of that kind of conversation before?
Lane 19:23
I don’t know. But it you know, it kind of reminds me of a boxing match where you’re you’re you’re kind of being boxed into a corner you’re like, Oh my god, how do I get out of this?
Rob 19:30
Yes, that’s exactly what it’s like. And just imagine you just keep getting pounded by the other person they just keep won’t let you out. And you’re like, Okay, after a while you kind of give up, you just take it, you don’t have to. It’s pretty simple. There’s a simple line you can use and that is just what I said earlier, which is, you know, it’s so interesting what you do. It’s very nice to meet you. I know you came here to meet a bunch of other people and I’m sure I’m I’m sure I’m not the only person you wanted to meet tonight. So I will not do this for you. Let me get your card and I know that there’s gonna be a situation where I might be able to interact You to somebody else that’s here fact, what’s a good person to introduce you to? They will stop in their tracks and think, Oh, no, he’s never asked me that before because they’re usually talking. They don’t usually have time. Right? And and then they say, well, and sometimes they can’t answer it because they don’t know. But every once in a while they’ll answer the questions. Okay, let me take your card as I do networking, is it okay, if I come back and introduce you to some people that I might have been, you know, going in networking around a meet that is actually a good referral for you? Or a good introduction for you? Would you like that? And they go, yeah, now, sometimes you can find it, sometimes you can’t. And I tell him, I can’t promise I’m gonna find anybody. But if I do, I’m happy to introduce. But before I do, I’m going to tell that person find an exit strategy before you go over there. Because, you know, I mean, but but, but the idea is, like,
Lane 20:46
totally setting you up by introducing you to this person,
Rob 20:50
I can get on at any conversation. Trust me, it doesn’t take much. It’s so simple for you. Just, I know, you didn’t mean Yeah, I know, you don’t want to be here all night talking to just me, I know, you’ve got tons of people to talk to. And there’s so many more people that are more important than I am. Let me get you in front of somebody else. Or I can say something like, you know, it’s just nice to meet you. And if there’s anything I can anything I can do to help you let me know. And I’ll do some networking and see if I can find something to connect you with, if that makes sense, based on what you’re talking about. But I also don’t want to take up all of your time. And I apologize if I’ve already done that so far. And they usually go Oh, I’m so sorry. I know you didn’t take up my time. Oh, no, I know, I didn’t because you took up mine. But that’s my head that’s in my head. And then we move on, like we just kind of, you know, it was nice to meet you. And and and they’ll they get the clue. And they get the hint, usually, and but there’s never been a time where I’ve been able to get out of a situation like that. So another thing that might be helpful is to remember that you just have to make it about the other person, one of the things you shouldn’t do is forget to make it about them. But really what you’re wanting to do is you want to make sure that you’re asking them all the questions. So if I’m networking, I’m going to ask you a bunch of questions to the point of I’m gonna know so much about you. And they, they don’t know enough about me, they don’t know anything about me and I and they get to the point where they’re like, Oh, hold on, hold on, I’ll answer your question. But he tell me a little bit about what you do, too, because I don’t know anything about what you do. And that’s when you know, you’ve got somebody that understands what networking is about, and it’s a two way street. And when they ask those questions, then you can give them a quick answer and go back with another question about them. And I’ve had it where like, what’s their favorite book? No, just like anything that that has to do with what they do. And and asking him more and more and more questions, makes them talk more. And when they get to the point where they’re like, hey, I want to learn more about you. Okay, fine, we can talk about that. But then I go back to them again, because I can tell they don’t know what next question should be. When I do that. There’s two kinds of people, there’s people that will do the same thing. They like to ask all the questions. And when they when they have that happen to them, or like me, I’m asking them questions, and they want to ask questions just like I am. They’ll call you on it. They’ll go, listen, I know what you’re doing. Stop asking me questions. I want to learn about it. Stop, just stop asking me. And I know that because I’ve done it to people and they’ve done it to me, they’re like, you’re good at this Stop, stop. You know, you can’t you can’t keep asking me this question. I can ask you because I don’t know anything about you. And then he Okay, he kind of laughed, whatever, right? And then they start asking you some questions. And but at some point, I gotta go back to them and ask him more questions.
Lane 23:10
Yeah, what, what are some of the questions you’d ask? Let’s go through that. So
Rob 23:13
if you’re at a networking event, and I run into you, and I’d say, hey, so tell me a little bit about what you do. Because I know you do a little bit of websites, but give me a give me some insights as to what you do on a day to databases.
Lane 23:23
Okay, yada, yada, yada. This is what I do. It’s all boring stuff. But whatever I mean,
Rob 23:29
so it’s boring. You think it’s boring. That’s interesting. Why did you get into this, then?
Lane 23:33
Yeah, I see.
So what’s your what’s your next question? That was a smart guy.
Rob 23:39
So did you get stuck in this? Or what? Did you inherit this business? No, I’m just kidding. But but the questions become, like, you know, why did you get into this? And a lot of times people will have given a very interesting answer. And when they say, you know, I got into this, because of, you know, whatever, I had somebody tell me, I used to run this business. And then I realized that when I opened my eyes up a little bit more of this, this other version, or this other element in my business was actually a much more profitable, much more fun area for me to work in. So I switched it. And I just got really other stuff that I was doing. And I’m doing this now. Well, that’s interesting. That’s an interesting transition. But does that take the same same type of skill set? Or is it what what was so fun about this that the other one didn’t have? So whatever they’re talking about, there’s just some sort of a minutia that you can get into with them to say, tell me more about that, because that’s really interesting. And here’s the other problem. If you’re not genuinely interested in people and what they do, and starting to be thinking like a reporter like asking all these questions, right, it’s hard, hard for you to do that. And I learned this honestly, because I wasn’t very good at it to begin with. I learned this from my wife. She is a question drills are like I say drill sergeant, but she like drills questions constantly. When I watched her, tell me about it. Oh my gosh, she’s like constantly asking somebody questions. And then what will happen is, is that there’ll be talking and they’ll talk and they’ll talk and she would Oh, well that’s Andrew, what about this? What about that? What and all of a sudden you’re like I know more about this person than I’ve ever ever imagined. And so I started to think to myself, well, I that’s that’s highly effective, I need to do more of that they then genuinely felt like somebody was interested in them, and they start to open up on different levels than you’ve ever imagined. Imagine somebody who’s taking a genuine interest in you, how much more comfortable are you to say, I’m having these problems at some point in your conversation when you’re in sales. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, they’re more comfortable. So that’s kind of the part of the reason why you want to do that is you want to make sure that it’s about them and not about you. And people miss that all the time. When I network, they don’t understand that they think networking is networking is networking. It’s talking and listening and talking, listening, but it’s about getting them to feel comfortable with you.
Lane 25:38
Right? And what I hear is your it’s more listening than talking and stay away from the people that just can’t stop talking.
Rob 25:46
Yes, contrary to what’s happening in this episode here where I’m doing most of the talking, but would you shut off already. So that’s not the best way to get out of a situation where somebody is talking a lot, but I can appreciate where you’re coming from. So in this episode, we talked about a lot of different things. We talked about how to network and the things you shouldn’t be doing. So you know, kind of things like being awkward asking stupid questions, and not being intimidated and all that good stuff. So when you go out networking, please, please, for the love of God, don’t do these things. So until next time, thanks for listening. We will see.
Lane 26:24
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